Liquid Dreams and Tired Thoughts

When the first echoes of my alarm clock disturb me from slumber a series of disjointed thoughts surface. First: shut up shut up shut up – I know I know, I need to get up. But afterward, any matter of cranial piffle will pile in.

In these liquid moments, I find some of my favorite words. Perhaps because they are relatively undistilled.

With indecipherable expletives drooling from my mouth,  I reach over to my nightstand and slide my finger along the back of my phone case – wondering why the noise persists. Each time I fail to silence it, the volume increases. Only after the required number of hand spasms am I able to get the electronic trumpeter to shut up.

Then the race begins.

I scribble as much of what I remember onto a nearby legal pad. Sentences, fragments of sentences, words, arrangements of letters. Until I begin to stabilize. The mind removes the plug and the thoughts begin to drain. I’m not taking on water, I’m fighting to retain it. But the best I can muster is filling a bucket at a time and spilling it onto the page.

The water evaporates and only solid thoughts remain. Thoughts about the day ahead. Thoughts about how many words were lost. Thoughts about how many words I need.

Almost sad, the remaining thoughts drift out to sea. And, with my toes buried in the sands of the shore, I am forced to watch. But I’m not sad for long because forgetting is easy. The thoughts dissipate and I forget I am on the shore.

I go. I do the day. The motions continue. I find my way home. I find my way to the desk. I find my pen. And I long to be carried back out to sea.

 

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2 thoughts on “Liquid Dreams and Tired Thoughts

  1. I have vivid, intricate dreams with lots of weird little details. Every now and then you’ll see me record one over on my blog, but those are the little, easy ones. Every few weeks, I’ll dream what could easily be a full-scale fantasy novel (or two). I keep a file of notes on all of those dreams, to harvest at a later date. But what’s fun (ha) is that I make those notes via voice-to-text recording immediately upon waking. Between my normal drawl and being half asleep when I start talking, the phone doesn’t always understand me, so often the resulting notes have to be deciphered a little later in the day. That’s always entertaining.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know how you feel. My notes are indecipherable from time to time. Letters spaced out oddly, spelling often not even a secondary consideration, ink blotches abound. When I am able to solve the cryptographic arrangement however, I’m pleasantly surprised.

      Liked by 1 person

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