Friendly Fascinations

My Beautiful Bohemians,

I’m sure we’ve all tried to make a deal with the devil, only to end up talking to ourselves. Fear not my dearest reader, in this hellish endeavor you are not alone.

We all strive to reach the upper echelons of society: who doesn’t dream of one day being cult master? Or the don of the mafia? Or simply being the manager at Papa Johns? Mr. DingleWaddles, my Canada Goose, and I agree these are positions worth striving for. Perhaps even positions worth fighting for. And yes, while the temptation exists to utilize our seances and rituals to hex our adversaries remember that it would leave you exposed.

Cursing someone at your workplace or one of your friendly gatherings is a surefire way to take two steps back. Plus, your potty mouth is frowned upon. Not a good reflection on yourself or your occult followers. On the other hand, cursing someone can be fun for all. Watch your friends levitate eighteen feet into the air! Conduct instant and temporary blood transfusions! Set your closest and most cherished friends ablaze with a bright yet harmless fire! These traditional hexes are the most stellar displays of friendship, and really show you care about people when it matters the most.

You see, my classic clique, what I’m getting at here don’t you? Of course you do! Telepathy is such a fun game between friends. What? You’ve yet to practice your weekly mind cleansing and can’t read my conscious projections? Tisk-tisk dearest, you must stick to your regiment. But I’m always happy to help you get back on track with a group cleansing!

The point is you’ve got to help others out. You’ve got to be the shoulder that they can lean on when they feel at their lowest. You must be the one they can talk to one they suffer hardship and heartbreak. You must be there when the blood circle fails to perform a proper shadow transubstantiation. That’s life, and these things happen. But that’s how we learn and grow as people.

The only way forward is with others by your side. Whether it be climbing the next rung of the corporate ladder or turning the ladder into a slide that funnels directly into the large hole you’ve been digging for months. Seriously, that thing is impressive. Just never forget all the municipalities you inconvenienced to get permits to dig it.

Rambling on the Road,

Richard

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